The Land of Farten-Burrrpen

Chapter Three

And there was so much for the new Mayor to do!

As the Town had never in its History Experienced such a Gusty Wind before, there was Utter Chaos and Mayhem with people rushing Hither and Thither not knowing Where To Go or What To Do.

The first thing Mr FartenFurter did was to establish a Constabulary. This very High-Sounding Force consisted of One Personage by the name of Ms Pick-a-Little who, it seemed, and Everyone was agreed on this, was very good at telling Everyone Else WHAT TO DO.

So, Ms Pick-a-Little was directed to Clean Up the Town with the help of her Crew, the Sundrys. For sure enough, Mr FartenFurter’s Billowing Episode had not only brought the leaves down, it had also caused little Whooooopsians to Create Little Stinking Mounds all over the place. It had caused the Doglings to Pee unsafely in Not-Their-Designated-Areas.

Oh dear! Oh dear! What a Mess was there!

But Ms Pick-a-Little rolled up her sleeves, lined up the Sundrys, sought the help of All the Whooooopsians and soon, in a Four-Beat actually, her Crew of All and Sundry was busy cleaning up the Town.

With THAT most urgent work off his Mind, Mr FartenFurter Pondered over his next Problem… Where was he to LIVE?????

There had never before been a Mayor in The Land of Whooooops! and so, and thusly, there was no Mayorial Palace. Not even a Mayorial Mansion. Let alone a Mayor’s Dwelling.

What to do? What to do? What to do?

And so, after walking around the Town, Pondering and Pondering, (for once, Foot and Foot-Foot marched together and not at odds with each other), Mr FartenFurter saw a little, itty-bitty cottage tucked away among the Trees.

He asked Old Mr Conkers (the oldest Whooooopsian there), who that cottage belonged to.

“Nary a soul,” said Mr Conkers. “‘Tis been empty this many a year. What you be askin’ me dat fer?”

“Weeeell, I thought I would live there. It’s among the Trees, you see…”, said Mr FartenFurter.

“Can’t see no ‘arm in dat!” whoooooshed old Mr Conkers. “Since it don’t belong to NoBody, I guess it’s yourn!”

And Mr FartenFurter and Fart’n’Fart and Foot and Foot-Foot were so Elated that they Danced with Joy. Until Fart’n’Fart let out a small Whooooosh! and Mr FartenFurter Declared that it did not suit the Dignity of His Office to be Cavorting like a young lad.


Chapter Four coming soon….

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