The Land of Farten-Burrrpen

Chapter Six

The Three Companions walked home to their cottage (which by the by, was called SuchLike) in Three Different States of Mind.

Foot and Foot-Foot had to be Awoken before they would start Moving. And it took the combined efforts of Fart’n’Fart and Mr FartenFurter to do so.

For they quite enjoyed the softness of the ground around them. It was nice and dry. It was nice and nice-smelling. And most of all, IT WAS SOFT! You have to understand how Taxing it is for Feet when People Stand on them and Walk on them and Run on them and use them to Kick Things Around. No one REALLY worries about what the Feet might Think.

Of course, Mr FartenFurter was more considerate of his Feet than most Other People, but even-so, Foot and Foot-Foot fell Asleep outside Ms Moily’s Whatchamaycallit Cottage. Because it was so …

“Enough!” roared Mr FartenFurter. “You’ve told us Once! We don’t need to Hear it AGAIN!”

Now it was most unusual for Mr FartenFurter to SHOUT and Foot and Foot-Foot and even Fart’n’Fart were Shocked into Silence.

But Mr FartenFurter was a Perplexed Man. He was a Bewildered Man. He was a Man at Sea. Which was strange because there was no sea within miles of The Land of Whooooops! And furthermore, he was a Man at Sea Without a Boat.

In Other Words, Mr FartenFurter, was Lost. There was a strange Warmth in his Chest which he could not Understand.

He Looked around. He Felt around. He saw Nothing. He felt Nothing Tangible. There was no bird in the sky. There was no tiny creature in his waistcoat lining. His shirt was dry. So it definitely was not Liquid Warmth. But it FELT like it! What then, Was It?

Mr FartenFurter did not know what to do.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He walked around the Big Tree, keeping far away from Whatchamaycallit Cottage and he Thunk. And he Thunk. And he Thunk.

But all this Thinking did him No Good. He just Did Not Know What that Warmth was that Would Not Go Away.

So he did the next best thing he could.

He got into Bed, covered himself up to his Nose and Fell Asleep.


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