The Land of Farten-Burrrpen

Chapter eight

In the Meanwhile and in the Meantime, on the Other Side of the Big Tree, Mr FartenFurter was in a Total Mess.

He Just Did Not Know What Had HIT HIM!!!!!

He Talked to Fart’n’Fart who Rumbled away at him but Gave him no Answers.

He Talked to both Foot and Foot-Foot. No Luck there either. They just Stomped Up and Down and in Different Directions at the same time.

For they were all Bewildered and Betwixt. One of the problems was, they didn’t know what they were Betwixt… They never realised that they were Bewitched and Bewildered!

So Mr FartenFurter did the only thing he could Think of To Do. And that was, he Picked Himself Up, got Out of Bed, performed his Morning Ablutions, had his Breakfast (for he couldn’t do anything on an Empty Stomach now, could he?), and off he went to Talk to Ms Pick-a-Little to see if she could Help him.

He stood in front of Ms Pick-a-Little and Harrrrumphed! while Fart’n’Fart Gusted and Foot and Foot-Foot Tapped and Rapped out of Rhythm.

“What IS it, Mayor? Is another Gust Upon Us? Is Something Big Happening? Should I be Prepared? Do I need to Notify All and Sundry?” asked Ms Pick-a-Little in a bit of a Quandry.

“Well… The matter is that I don’t Quite Know,” quoth Mr FartenFurter.

“Has it anything to do with the Town?” asked a Prickly Ms Pick-a-Little .

“No! No! Nothing like that! I just don’t know who else to talk to!” said a slightly Abashed Mr FartenFurter.

“Well then, don’t you be Wasting my Time, Mr Mayor! I’ve got Things To Do and Places To Be! And I can’t Be Late, You Know! Go and Talk to the Apothecary.”

“And where will I find him?”

“She’s not a Him!” said an irate Ms Pick-a-Little . “She’s a She! Don’t you know AnyOne and AnyThing? How did you get to be Mayor AnyWay?”

“Well, it was all because of …,” started an Apologetic and Deeply Embarrassed Mr FartenFurter.

“I know, I know! Don’t you be Starting With ME, now! Just go to the End of the Lane and you will Find a ToadStool with a Red Gate that says APOTHECARY on it. That’s where you’ll Find her. Now be Off with you! Don’t you be Wasting my Time!”

And an Abashed Mr FartenFurter and his two Companions set off, in Unison, down the Lane, towards the ToadStool with the Red Gate that said APOTHECARY on it.

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